So, it’s been a year since I was diagnosed with ME. This battle with myself came like a lightening bolt, that struck down an unexpectant me. I’m sure there are many others with the stories, same.
A world beyond four walls, now merely a memory distant. Laughter, old and chatter meaningless a memory distant. Trapped in my body, my thoughts, my emotions and my pain. Yes, pain physical, unexplained. A diagnosis, unrelenting. You see, I was a disease virgin. In my short 35 years, I’d never heard of CFS/ME. Here, I was labelled with it. Disabled by ignorance, mine. I could not, would not accept it and as time moves along I struggle, everyday. It feels cruel to have life torn away from you, suddenly to slowly realise walking, talking, eating, etc. Etc. Now an effort, extreme.
Since, my mind is a bitch cruel, it refuses to give in. So everyday, I still try. This battle with ME, a challenge a fresh, everyday. Yet, I can’t seem to give up. The hope to live, lives on, inside of me. For those, who live with a condition chronic, I understand the struggle ongoing. I’m a little angered by the ignorance of those who tell you to just sleep, you’ll be OK. I’d like to see them face challenges everyday and see how they fare. Pissed off? Yeah, me too. However, it’s not over until it is.
The perks, yes, you read right, perks! This being disabled has taught me lessons many. To take life slowly and love what is here and now. Enjoying, moments small and pleasures simple. It’s not about others, it’s about rediscovering the self. The me with ME. It’s given birth to my creative aspirations and opened up a world I wish to live in not one others impose. I am here, now with a choice to love and life differently. And it may not be a bed of roses but I’ve thrown out thorns unwarranted.
From one moment to another. Every moment is yours. Has your life changed? Why don’t you tell us how?
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